Strong emotions

Anger – this may be directed at medical staff, police, innocent bystanders, yourself, your friends and even the deceased.

Guilt - this is a normal reaction as we can all find something to be guilty about, especially things we've said/haven't said or done. Also you may feel guilty for enjoying yourself; for example, just laughing can trigger a bout of guilt.

Sadness - you may be overwhelmed with sadness at times, afraid you'll never laugh again.

Loneliness - even when surrounded by friends and family you may still feel lonely. Often you may think no-one understands your way of coping.

Lack of concentration - you may experience confusion, loss of memory, inability to concentrate, sleepless nights. This is temporary and you are not "going crazy".

Loss of confidence - you may find you are questioning your life, your beliefs etc. You may be unable to feel the same sense of commitment you had before.

These are all normal, healthy parts of grieving. Eventually the time will come when you feel ready to regain control and continue with your own life. You will be able to talk about the person who has died and remember happy times. This does not mean you will forget them, or that life will be the same as it was. It means that you are accepting their death and learning to live with their absence.

What may help

Often talking about your experiences and thoughts is a good way to make sense of what has happened. A good friend or family member can be supportive.

Writing to the deceased, writing poetry or keeping a diary can all be therapeutic.

Holding special commemorative days can help you and others remember the person and the happy times you spent together.

Sharing your experiences and feelings with other bereaved people can be helpful to both you and them. Helping others through the healing process often triggers positivity and healing within yourself.

Reading books about other people’s experiences of bereavement can combat feelings of being alone.

Further information and help

Cruse Bereavement is the leading charity in the UK specialising in bereavements and helping people deal with them:
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk  
CRUSE Youth Involvement Project is designed by young people for young people: www.rd4u.org.uk 

Tel 0844 477 9400
E-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
Cruse Bereavement Care
Unit 0.1
One Victoria Villas
Richmond
Surrey
TW9 2GW
U.K.
Child Bereavement: www.childbereavement.org.uk